What a great topic, 1stwahine, and such a relevant one.
I know what you mean. We all have many well-meaning brothers and sisters in the Lord who are so overzealous that they totally freak out non-believers and send them running in the other direction!
Here's how I try to live my life and while I don't know if it's the "right" way, I am doing the best that I can - and like you - I'm only human.
No matter the situation, I try to be a good witness. In other words, I try to live in a way that would not make me "shame" if Jesus were standing beside me in the flesh. I don't always succeed, but I do try.
In the presence of non-believers, I do not hide my faith, but I don't shove it in their face either. If there is an opportunity to share my faith, I will -- but I don't tell everyone who doesn't share my beliefs that they're going straight to hell.
I try to be a loving friend who is willing to help. I would hope that by being a friend to my non-believing friends/family, that they will come to see Christ's love for them through me.
If they're hurting, offer them a solution. I tell them how God helped me and invite them to join me at church.
To sum it up in 2 words: Be loving.
